dylan moran: off the hook full


So, of course we have a dog. Who’s watching this horrible man? Oh, the Catalan cave cows. And then this beautiful couple came in, people in their late 20s roughly and they were you know, tall elegant people, Iots of cheek bones and four elbows each and long and sinuous and elegant and wafting around, looking at the stuff. Nothing, and a five layer modernist fox shit right beside him. Obviously, on a landline from some station.

We're working hard to be accurate. “Not romance, “that thing that makes you grip your own skull and scream for death “and then look up and say, ‘Coming!’ “That special something that gives you the energy to go and “pick scatter cushions with another human being. Most of the time they hate it, especially if you’re having sex.
These are ingenious people, look at what they did after the second world war, after 1989.
This book came out a couple of years ago and it was very famous, it was around for a while, it was around for a long time actually and the movie is just out recently and when the book came out I was thinking, “Oh, that will go away,” and it didn’t. I didn’t want a dog, I didn’t want to stand up here and talk about it. Get us in your inbox What’s adult about putting a part of yourself in and out of somebody else thousands of times in the space of a couple of minutes and looking pretty unhappy about it? If you’re a guy it’s complicated, you have to get tarpaulin and ropes and secure the perimeter. You know?

“Make it so… “l know you’re resentful of me and everything “because you have a degree in Marine accountancy or whatever it is, “and you have to pour coffee for a living but that’s the way it happens sometimes… “Just please, can you do this, what happens next?” And he is staring at me and he said, “You could, but you’re going to lose the umami-ness of the single origin bean.” That’s what the man said, okay.

“Are you good?

I mean that would have made you just vomit all over yourself. Game of Thrones, which has been running for 35 years by my calculation. “The other one is narcoleptic and insomniac, he spends the whole time just doing this.” (AUDlENCE LAUGHS) “lt lasts for a year and a half, “you have to see it in the original Finnish otherwise you lose all the ‘nawaganas,’ “which is Finnish for nuance.” So, there’s all that, right, and he didn’t understand the coffee situation. Daddy please!” “No,” I said, “be gone!” In my throne of skulls in the kitchen, “Leave this place!” “Daddy, please!

Look at her, she’s thinking of moving to Shrewsbury, mmm.

That must be what happens, it must be what happens to people. “It’s a giant clog made out of lunch meats from all over the world. Any copyright material mirrored on this site is intended for private personal study. “l haven’t slept in 17 years…” The point is, you need all these people, because people are always blaming other people for the crisis and you are constantly told there is a crisis, we’re in a major crisis all the time, because of the rolling news culture we live in, financial crisis, the collapse happened in all the fun countries, places where you go to have a good time, Portugal, lreland, Greece, Spain, you know. “She’s regretting that argument she had with her sister at Easter, ooh, that’s hot!” All women are hot, scientifically they are hot because they all regulate their temperature in a totally different way to men. What that is, where it’s happening, what time it starts, what’s gonna happen in it. This is what’s going on, death becomes real and you think, “Maybe he won’t notice me “if I don’t experience anything intensely.” You just… All the gestures you used to have, all the big denunciations and accusations and declarations all the, “You!” and “Me!” and “That!” Suddenly just becomes, “Hmm, yeah, I know, kind of, yeah.” Um… He can’t kill you if you’re not properly alive, can he? “It’s like that old song ‘why do birds suddenly burst into flames.’ “I’m talking about love! And then he came running over, “Oh, you found the dog, “you found the dog!” ‘Cause he didn’t have a proper dog, you know, he had one of these modern fucking “fadududuru schnoodle” dogs.

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dylan moran: off the hook full

dylan moran: off the hook full

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